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God tells Mike Johnson he is going to hell

Remember when Mike Johnson was elected Speaker of the House of Representatives and he claimed “God selected me to lead the House the same as He selected Moses to lead the Children of Israel.” ??  Remember that?

Well, now it seems God has had enough of Johnson’s bullshit.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that many called long overdue, on Thursday God formally notified House Speaker Mike Johnson that he was going to Hell.

In a rare public statement, the Almighty said that Johnson’s support of Donald Trump’s war in Iran was the “last straw” that sealed the Speaker’s eternal damnation.

“What do you do with someone who claims to be a Christian and supports killing civilians?” God asked. “You send his ass to Hell, that’s what.”

Confronted by reporters in a Capitol corridor, Johnson said he was “disappointed” by the Heavenly Father’s decision, but added, “I serve a higher power than God — I serve Donald Trump.”

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Puzzled old man in mid-stage dementia makes an ass of himself in Kentucky

 

 

Trump at the WH as he was leaving to go to Kentucky rally:
Brian Allen @allenanalysis
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1h
Trump: “We took out all of their mine ships in one night. The Strait of Hormuz is open.”

The facts as of right now:

Iran struck a Thai civilian vessel attempting to transit the Strait this afternoon.

Lloyd’s of London has not restored war risk insurance for Gulf shipping.

No major shipping company has resumed transits.
Marine Traffic shows vessels at anchor, not moving.
Iran’s foreign policy advisor said this morning: we decide when it ends.

Trump said the Iranian navy was destroyed. We kept finding ships to bomb.

Trump said ships were safely transiting. The Energy Secretary deleted the tweet. Karoline Leavitt corrected the record.

Now Trump says the Strait is open.

A Thai ship was struck today trying to find out.

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Remember those “persecuted” white South Africans who Trump invited to come live in the US???

They are going back to South Africa — the US is too violent for them.

The Trump administration’s crusade to “save” white South Africans from supposed persecution is backfiring. Instead of embracing his invitation to America, growing numbers of those same expatriates are buying one-way tickets home—disillusioned by the violence, fear, and brutality in Trump’s United States.

Andrew Veitch, who left South Africa for California two decades ago after being carjacked, told Reuters he no longer feels safe in Trump’s America. “People are being shot in broad daylight. American citizens are being shot and killed,” said the 53-year-old.

He plans to return to South Africa this year, joining a wave of repatriations driven by disillusionment with the country that once promised security. “I don’t want to live in a place like this,” Veitch told the outlet.

Trump’s officials have defended Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers who killed two U.S. citizens in January, claiming self-defense—though video evidence disputes that. South Africa, which Trump once accused of persecuting whites, now finds itself welcoming thousands back. South Africa’s government says there is “no evidence” of racial discrimination against whites, and newly relaxed laws have prompted an online rush: 12,000 expatriates have checked their eligibility to reclaim citizenship since November.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/white-south-african-refugees-choose-to-head-home-instead-of-living-under-trump/

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RFK Jr.: dumb, dumber, dumbest

Oooopsss!!

Kennedy is undergoing outpatient rotator cuff surgery today.

Kennedy is undergoing outpatient rotator cuff surgery today. www.medpagetoday.com/surgery/orth…

The dumbass did pullups without warming up, tore his rotator cuff, arm will be in a sling for months.  Who will do the surgery — an orthopedic surgeon or an herbalist or may Erika Kirk.

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NO! Trump’s war on Iran will not be over in a few days . . . it will get much worse

Three points I have gleaned from the bullshit coming out of the White House and the Pentagon.

First: There are far more American wounded casualties than the 140 DoD has admitted to. The number could be as high as 150. Of course if they are lying about wounded, they are almost certainly lying about killed as well. They are lying to us again as usual. No surprise there.

Second: Trump’s flunky son-in-law negotiator Kushner approached the Iranians about some sort cease fire or deescalation. They told him no (or maybe HELL NO). Why would they agree? They are winning militarily and psychologically. This will end on their terms, not Trump’s. This will become the greatest humiliation ever to befall any American President.

Three: The Iranians have announced that they are going to focus their retaliation entirely on Israel. I think for the most part Israeli air defenses have been depleted. The Israelis are doing their best to cover it up, but it looks like Iranian missiles and drones are hitting Tel Aviv and the rest of the country at will. The Israeli people aren’t stupid. They do know that Bibi is responsible for this fiasco. I would guess his and his governments days in office are numbered. Unless he makes a run for it he will be in a jail cell soon.

Trump will have to do one of two things. He will have to (1) unilaterally back down or (2) go full scorched earth on the Iranians. If he ops for alternative two, the Iranians will go full scorched earth on the entire middle east. They could essentially shut down oil production for a very extended period of time. The implications for the world economy would be nothing less than a major disaster. We are talking about a world wide super depression. We, U.S.A., will pay an extremely heavy price for electing a lunatic President.