Remember when Mike Johnson was elected Speaker of the House of Representatives and he claimed “God selected me to lead the House the same as He selected Moses to lead the Children of Israel.” ?? Remember that?
Well, now it seems God has had enough of Johnson’s bullshit.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that many called long overdue, on Thursday God formally notified House Speaker Mike Johnson that he was going to Hell.
In a rare public statement, the Almighty said that Johnson’s support of Donald Trump’s war in Iran was the “last straw” that sealed the Speaker’s eternal damnation.
“What do you do with someone who claims to be a Christian and supports killing civilians?” God asked. “You send his ass to Hell, that’s what.”
Confronted by reporters in a Capitol corridor, Johnson said he was “disappointed” by the Heavenly Father’s decision, but added, “I serve a higher power than God — I serve Donald Trump.”